Fancy learning some British slang?

Taken from: English forums.com
So you think you've mastered the English language? Wait until you meet a British person who showers you with some extreme British slang! 
Slang in Britain dates back to before the 16th

century and it's changing all the time; new words and phrases are being added and some are used so frequently by so many, they almost become mainstream. 
The origin of the word slang is uncertain. The earliest recorded use in the Oxford English Dictionary is 1756, and refers to the vocabulary of "low or disreputable" people. 

• Baccy - Tobacco. The sort you use to roll your own (cigarettes).
• Bake - The mouth. (Irish/Scottish use)
• Bam - A foolish and objectionable person. (Scottish)
• Barmy - Mad, crazy, insane.
• Belt up - The British version for shut up.
• Best of British - If someone says "The best of British to you" when you are visiting the UK, it simply means good luck.
• Blooming - Another alternative to the word bloody. You might hear someone say "not blooming likely" so that they don't have to swear.
• Bomb - If something costs a bomb it means that it is really expensive.
• Brassed off - Fed-up, annoyed.
• Brill - Short for "brilliant". Often used by kids to mean cool.
• Bung - A bung is also a bribe.
• C of E - The Church of England. Our official protestant church - of which the Queen is the head.
• Chuffed - You would be chuffed to bits if you were really pleased about something.
• Dim - Someone not very bright.
• Do - A party. You would go to a do if you were going to a party in the UK.
• Do - If you go into a shop and say "do you do batteries?" it means "do you sellbatteries".
• Do - If you drive along a motorway in the wrong lane the police will do you. You could then tell your friends that you have been done by the police. Prosecute is another word for it!
• Dodgy - If Someone or something is strange or weird, often in a bad illegitimate way.
• Dog's dinner - If you make a real mess of something it might be described as a real dog's dinner.
• Duff - Something that's flawed or faulty.
• Easy Peasy - A childish term for something very easy.
• Faff (fæf)- To faff is to dither or to fanny around.
• Fagged - If you are too lazy or tired to do something you could say "I can't be fagged". It means you can't be bothered.
• Fancy - Utterly charming, resourceful, and pretty. There are two basic forms in common use - food and people. If you fancy a cake, for example, it means you like the look of it and you want to eat it. If you saw someone of (hopefully) the opposite sex then you might fancy them, if you liked the look of them and wanted to get to know them a little better.
• Fit - A fit bird means a girl who is pretty good looking or tasty!
• Flog - A brilliant multi-purpose word: to sell something or to lose a sporting match or to steal something.
• Fluke - If something great happened to you by chance that would be a fluke.
• Flutter - It means to have a bet, usually a small one by someone who is not a serious gambler.
• Full of beans - This means to have loads of energy.
• Getting off - This seems to be the objective of most teenagers on a big night out. Getting off with someone means making out.
• Give us a bell - This simply means call me. You often hear people use the word "us" to mean "me".
• Gormless - Brainless. Lacking in intelligence, clueless.
• Gutted - If someone is really upset by something they might say that they were gutted.
• Haggle - To haggle is to argue or negotiate over a price.
• Hard lines - means the same as "tough luck" or "bad luck”.
• Her Majesty's pleasure - When visiting England, try to avoid being detained at Her Majesty's pleasure. This means being put in prison with no release date!
• Hiya - Short for hi there, this is a friendly way of saying hello.
• Honking - Honking is being sick or throwing up.
• Horses for courses - This is a common saying that means each to his own. What might be good for one situation/person might not be good for another.
• How's your father? - This is a very old term for sex which plays on our apparent British sensitivity. Rather than saying the actual "sex" word you could refer to having a bit of How's your Father, instead - nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
• Hump - If you have got the hump it means you are in a mood.
• I'm easy - This expression means I don't care or it's all the same to me.
• Jammy - In British English slang, particularly in the north-west of England, this means 'lucky' or more accurately 'flukey'. It is usually applied to someone else who has just had a particular piece of outrageous or undeserved luck.
• Jolly - You hear people use this in all sorts of ways, but basically it means very.
• Keep your pecker up - This is one way of saying keep your chin up.
• Khazi - Another word for the toilet.
• Kip - Northern English Slang for sleep, also Kippin as in Sleeping.
• Knees up - If you're having a knees up, you're going to a dance or party.
• Knock off - To knock something off is to steal it.
• Knockers - A woman's breasts. Especially when unrestrained and allowed to move.
• Knuckle sandwich - If somebody offers you a knuckle sandwich you'd be best to decline the offer and leave at the next convenient moment - they're about to thump you in the face.
• Leg it - A phrase used when an alarming and unexpected need to run is discovered. Usually said by kids having just been caught doing something naughty.
• Mate - Most chaps like to go to the pub with their mates. Mate means friend or chum.
• Mug - If someone is a bit of a mug, it means they are gullible. Most used car salesmen rely on a mug to show up so they can sell something!
• Nark - If someone is in a nark, it means they are in a bad mood, or being grumpy. Also a person who will report you to a higher authority for any given reason
• Nice one! - If someone does something particularly impressive you might say "nice one!" to them.
• Nick - To nick is to steal.
• Nut - To nut someone is to head butt them. Nutting is particularly useful when at a football match.
• On the job - If you are on the job, it could mean that you are hard at work.
• On the piss - If you are out on the piss, it means you are out to get drunk, or to getpissed.
• One off - A one off is a special or a one time event that is never to be repeated.
• Owt - This is Yorkshire for anything. Similarly nowt is Yorkshire for nothing.
• Paddy - A rage, a tantrum or an upset. E.g "O.K., calm down, don't get in a paddy." Also, racially offensive English term for Irish people.
• Pal - A friend. (Informal). A term of address, not always friendly despite its original meaning.
• Palatic - A step above drunk. Generally when you are palatic you don't fall asleep or sit in the corner with your head in your hands - you get your top off and make an absolute fool of yourself.
• Papers - Cigarette papers.
• Paste - To beat up.
• Patrick Swayze - Cockney slang for Lazy. "He's a bit Patrick Swayze inne"
• Patrick Swayze - Cockney slang for Crazy. "Your Patrick Swayze mate!"
• P.C. - Abb. of politically correct.
• Peas in the Pot - Hot. "Bit peasy in 'ere, innit?"
• Peelie-wally - Pale looking, sickly. [Scottish use]
• Peeps - short for people , friends, close pals.
• Peeve Noun. Drink, usually alcoholic. [North-east/Scottish use]
• Pen and ink - A stink, a bad smell. Cockney rhyming slang.
• Pen pusher– unneeded, bureaucratic employee not making any difference and hampering efficiency. An office clerk.
• Pervy - Perverted.
• Pete Tong - Wrong (rhyming slang). Pete Tong is a well known and respected U.K. radio and club D.J.
• Petrolhead - An enthusiast of cars and motoring, especially motor racing.
• Phat - Excellent, pleasing, desirable or fashionable. Short for Pretty Hot And Tempting.
• Pickled - Drunk from alcohol.
• Piece of cake - An easy task that usually ends up being more fun than difficult.
• Piss poor - If something is described as being "piss poor" it means it is an extremely poor attempt at something.
• Piss up - A piss up is a drinking session. A visit to the pub.
• Pissed - To be heavily intoxicated with alcohol to the point of not knowing where you are.
• Plastered - Heavily under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol. “Rick couldn't handle drinking; he was plastered in under an hour”.
• Porkies - A big lie. From the English rhyming slang 'porky pies', which rhymes with lies.
• Posh - Roughly translates as high class. Very classy or sophisticated.
• Prat - The literal meaning is "bottom" or "rump"; aka backside, buttocks, sacrum, tail end. This lends itself to the slang meaning of clueless person of arrogant stupidity.
• Puff - a man who is gay or is acting really queerly.
• Put paid to - This is an expression which means to put an end to something.
• Quid - One pound (100 pence) in British Sterling (GBP).
• Quite - When used alone, this word means the same as absolutely.
• Redundancy - If you are made redundant it means you are laid off.
• Ring - The act of calling somebody on a telephone. Give me a ring when you get home.
• Roger - To have sexual intercourse. It is used only for men towards Women, and not the other way round.
• Round - It means it is your turn to buy the drinks for everyone in the group.
• Rubbish - Another word for garbage or lies.
• Rugger - This is short for rugby.
• Sack/sacked - If someone gets the sack it means they are fired or laid off.
• Scrummy - Something which is so good, it is scrumptious and yummy.
• Scrumping– Stealing
• Shag - an act of sexual intercourse.
• Shambles - If something is a shambles it is chaotic or a real mess.
• Shirty– Becoming ill tempered.
• Shitfaced - To be really, really drunk, intoxicated.
• Sixes and sevens - Chaotic and confused (Old English saying).
• Skive - To skive is to evade something. To avoid work but still appearing as though you are doing something.
• Slag off - To verbally put down someone or something, call names.
• Slapper - A slapper is a female who is a bit loose.
• Sloshed - Consuming large amounts of alcohol to the extent that you pass out.
• Smashing - A term to describe that something is good or went well; derived from Irish immigrants term: "Is maith sinn" or "'s maith sinn", meaning: "that is good".
• Snookered– Fooled.
• Sod - An idiot, a fool. Someone you dislike.
• Sod all– Nothing.
• Sorted - To be organised. To have things in order.
• Spend a penny - To spend a penny is to go to the bathroom. To use the shop's sanitation facilities, which originally cost a penny.
• Splash out– Spending far too much money
• Stiffy - An erect penis, usually gotten through sexual arousal.
• Stone the crows - An old English expression, used commonly in situations where an inconvenience has occurred to oneself or others.
• Stonking - Impressive, wonderful.
• Swotting - To study, particularly in preparation for a test or exam.
• Ta - Thanks.
• Taking the biscuit - something that is well good or takes the biscuit.
• Taking the piss - To tease, to ridicule.
• Talent - An attractive person or persons.
• Tartan Army - Collectively, the supporters of the Scottish national football team.
• Throw a spanner in the works - This is an expression that means to wreck something.
• Tickety-boo - Fine, all right, in order. E.g."Yes indeed, everything is just tickety-boo, I've never felt better."
• Tidy - Apart from the obvious meaning of neat, tidy also means that a woman is a looker, attractive or sexy.
• Tom - A prostitute. A London term nationally known due to its use on police dramas such as The Bill.
• Tosser - Describes a person with a tendency to show off.
• Totty - If a boy is out looking for totty, he is looking for a nice girl to chat up.
• Tonking - A thorough beating, a severe defeat.
• Twat - Another word used to insult someone who has upset you. A vagina or a derogatory term.
• Twit - An idiot. Patronising and derogatory but often jocular.
• Uni - Short for university.
• Up for it - Phrase encompassing the enthusiasm of a person for an event.
• Waffle– Aimless talk, nonsense.
• Wallies - False teeth.
• Watcha - Simply means Hi.
• Welly - To kick forcefully. It means you are trying harder or giving it the boot.
• Wotcha - A greeting. A shortening of what cheer! Also spelt wotcher.
• Willy - Another word for penis.
• Wind up - To tell lies or joke at the expense of the recipient.
• Wobbler - When you just go mental at someone or something.
• Wonky - If something is shaky or unstable you might say it is wonky.
• Yakking - This means talking incessantly.
• Yampy - Crazy, mad, insane.
• Zonked - Worn out, tired.

And these are by far not all...

Sources: Urban Dictionary, Effingpot, Peevish Slang